Prudence I Write

I’m not really in a writing mood tonight.

All I want to do is cry.  I’m crying right now actually.

For
what reasons? I could name several…although most of you who’d read it
through will think it’s not much of a reason/reasons to even shed a
tear. Or maybe I’m just a drama queen at heart. I make a big deal out
of small things. Or that I’m a touchy-feel person.

#3  I can’t study.  I just can’t get my mind on it.  I want to write a story.  But I can’t make it materialize.

#2
His aunt told me during the first time (the only time, so far) we met
that she advised her nephew not to get involved in a romantic
relationship if he is planning to work abroad. She told me of stories
of couples breaking up when one, who’s abroad, meets somebody else and
that long-distance relationships don’t work. Why tell me that (As if I’m not going to the US myself…)? I’m not
her nephew’s girlfriend (though I wish I am). Maybe she did not really
mean to tell me that. Maybe she just came up with it, thinking of a
"good" story to chat about, considering we don’t really know each other
(We’ve just met, hello?!). Nevertheless, I still felt bad about it. Let
me rephrase that: I do feel bad about it. I do care for her nephew.
Very much. If I would be allowed to take care of him, I’d be more than
willing to do so.

#1 He’s hasn’t responded to any of my text
messages today. Is it just because he’s down in the dumps (which is an
understatement) or he just doesn’t want to talk to me? It just feels so
bad when I know he is in one of the most depressed moments in
his life and I can’t or don’t know how to bring some comfort to him. I
tried to be funny, gave some advice…but still he seemed so distant.
He just suddenly closed up. Or was he looking for some comfort from
someone else?

Shallow reasons?  Not for me.  I thrive on feelings.  No matter how much I tell myself not to be so emotional, it’s what I am.

I miss him.  I miss him so much.  But he doesn’t seem to care.

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