Being Single Again
Starbucks promo card update: 14 stickers
Target date: before December 1, 2006
It’s
hard adjusting to a single person’s life, after having spent most of
the last 4 years being in relationships. It’s like wearing new leather
shoes and you get blisters on your feet even after walking short
distances only. Even during shopping. And the damn blisters make your
usual pleasurable activities so unpleasant. Though I do these activites
(hanging out at coffee shops, watching movies, malling, etcetera) by
myself when I was still in a relationship, it felt different doing it
now that I’m out of it. Like a toddler trying to make his first steps
and the furnitures on which the toddler can cling to are the
relationships that I’ve been into. I’m used to having these furnitures,
daring more to take my baby steps because I know there’s something that
I could cling on or something that will make the fall less hard. But
right now, it’s just me, no more furnitures around to brace my fall or
to hold me brave the unknown. The newfound freedom can be quite
unsettling.
One advantage, though, of being out of a romantic
relationship is that there’s no one to get mad (except for my folks) if
I stay out too late at night with friends during gimmicks or inquire
every hour if I’m about to get home, who I’m with, etcetera.
Unfortunately, I’m already done with this phase in my life when I crave
to go out every night on gimmicks. Right now, the only reasons I
usually stay out late at night are gym and bookhunting. There may be
occasional late night drinking sprees or eating-out nights but those
have become rare nowadays.
So how do I plan to survive this
postrelationship blues? Going to the gym, as often as possible. And
carefully monitoring my food intake. And blogging, And occasional
worrying about a test score that hasn’t come by mail yet. These things
I allow to preoccupy my mind. No use thinking about the hows and the
whys of my last bf’s infidelity or the cowardice of my gay ex-beau and
why he wouldn’t want to be friends again. It will just make the world
bluer than it is. And I have to learn to live without them. They’re
definitely hard to forget, hard to erase from memory (Memory is both a
blessing and a curse). But, at least, I’ll try to numb myself whenever
I see a plane whizzing past by on the sky or whenever I hear Josh
Groban on MTV. They cannot make me happy.
But my gym and all the
consequences of treating it as my second home can make me happy. And,
yeah, the Starbucks planner too. And blogging. All of these can take my
mind away from hurtful beings.
And so, the pursuit for planthood begins.
