The Well-Mannered Elderly Gone
Today, despite differences in cultural backgrounds and social status,
we move in a society where certain courtesies are expected. We follow
traffic rules out of courtesy for other motorists and for the safety of
everyone on the road. We walk on the right side of a two-way corridor,
stairs, or any walkway out of courtesy to other people passing us by
from the opposite direction. We say "excuse me" when we bump
accidentally onto other people. These are simple rules we follow that
we have come to imbibe in our lives due to innumerable repetitions
enforced upon us by our parents, guardians, teachers, and elders since
we’ve learned how to walk and talk.
With these realizations, I
just simply can’t understand why some people need to be rude, when
following simple rules expected of us can make life more pleasant for
everyone.
At the HMO clinic earlier today, I was using the
patient’s toilet room because the one for the doctors was being cleaned
up. I was washing my face when I heard someone trying to turn the knob.
The other person obviously wouldn’t be able to because I had it locked
so I told the person outside that I was still inside. The person
continued turning the knob and even thumped the door loudly three
times. Though starting to get irritated, I continued washing my face
and brushing my teeth. After a short while, I heard another series of
knocks on the door, still as loud as the previous knocks but more
urgent.
When I was done, I stepped outside, irritably wondering
who the hell does this person think she is to keep on rapping on the
door like that. I discovered she was this almost elderly woman with
fake blonde hair, fake pearls, and an air about her that speaks of
haughtiness and feeling of superiority. I wasn’t wearing my white coat
then, so she must have thought of me as a kid who’s been using the
bathroom for too long (in her opinion) and just rushed past me into the
bathroom, nose in the air. No apologies whatsoever.
I would have
accepted an excuse such as that she can’t hold her urine any longer
(after all, she’s elderly already). But she didn’t even offer any
apologies at all. It was as if it’s her right to kick someone out of
the bathroom when she needs to use it.
Actually, I wasn’t
offended because I’m a doctor whom she tried to kick out of the
bathroom. I was offended because I’m another human being who doesn’t
deserve such discourtesy. She seemed an educated woman but why can’t
she be civilized enough to respect my right to use the bathroom,
especially if I was the one there before her? Did she think she has the
right to disregard my right just because she’s older?
That is
the problem with some old folks these days. Older people often complain
that the younger generation has yet to learn discipline and respect.
But older people, too, seemed to have been losing their manners. They
demand that their needs be placed above others simply based on
seniority. They demand that they be respected, even if by their virtue
they don’t earn it.
I still do hold respect for older people.
And so I held my tongue at that time. But I wished she was in line for
consult in my clinic so when she sees me, she’d realize she tried to
kick out of the bathroom the doctor she’s going to have consultation
with. So that, at least, for a moment, we would be equals, somehow.
Unfortunately, she was in line for consult with another doctor.
So
there she went, with me having done nothing. After all, how does one
reprimand an older woman that she’s lost her manners? She just might
spat on my face for my "disrespect" for her. Filipino elderly people do
not handle such criticisms from the youth. It is as if they are
untouchable by merit of their age.
But then, I remembered age
isn’t necessarily an indicator of wisdom. With the increasing
population of the older age group, I’m beginning to wonder where the
wisdom and the manners had gone to.
